GROWTH

"I thought I had written Growth for someone else. But while I was meditating recently (arguing with God) they told me "be quiet. Listen.” and Growth came blaring into myconsciousness and I realized that I had written this song for myself. Every word."

Falling down

Hit the ground

Bury in deep

Explode

Growth

In the dark, wet and cold

No one could know you’re here

Face it all, you’ve got to feel it all

This is alchemy

I know it hurts, its unbearable but

Look at you still breathing

Living through what you thought you can’t

Healed with streams of gold

Falling down

Hit the ground

Buried in deep

Explode

Growth

It looks like death and feels like life

If we’re doing it right

It’s the only thing upon which we can rely

So we’ve got to give up the fight and get with flow

Listen to your heart she only knows

Whats good for you and whats right

She’ll love you through your darkest night

And raise you high

NOT THE ONLY ONE

"This is the first song I wrote after he left. The truth has legs. In the end, it is the only thing left standing."

I have loved you more than I thought could

I have watched myself become

More love than I thought I could

I’ve loved you through betrayal

And loved you through your lies

I’ve loved you through humiliation

To give you one more try

So you could

Be who you said you were

Who you wanted to be

So that you could be here for her

And you could be here for me

I can love infinitely, its just who I am

But I can’t let her see you

Hurt me anymore

She’s watching you

She’s watching me

And we both deserve more

For you to

Be who you said you are

Who you project yourself to be

So that you could be here for her

And you could be here for me

Nothing I’ve every said

And nothing I’ve ever done

Could justify what you did to me

And I know I’m not the only one

SKIN OF MY TEETH

"Follow your courage, not your fear. Speak the truth but not with malice. Honour anger, allow rage to alchemize. All in for love. Always."

I follow my heart

I follow courage

I follow my rage but

not righteousness

Loving kindness

Compassion infinite

Accepting what is, not

Condoning it

I gave you my life

my whole heart and soul

I’m all in for love

Or nothing at all

I got sucked into your

Sticky pool where its all about you

I’m getting out with scant oxygen left to breathe

By the skin of my teeth

I keep my heart wide

Open in all

Directions so I can’t

Lose balance and fall

I won’t choose bitter no

I won’t lose faith

This trauma has changed me

But I won’t lose my way
I gave you my life

my whole heart and soul

I’m all in for love

Or nothing at all

I got sucked into your

Sticky pool where its all about you

I’m getting out with scant oxygen left to breathe

By the skin of my teeth

ENOUGH

"It would be so much easier if I could just hate him. Put him in a black box marked FU. But it would not be the truth. Pure love does not have an off switch. I wish him the feeling of enough so he can settle into himself, so he can realize the truth of who he is, which is innately love, infinitely loved, never too much, wholly and completely enough."

Still can’t believe you’re burning our house down

And throwing gasoline on me on your way out

Why can’t you leave me without tearing whats left of me down?

Haven’t you hurt me enough, this time around?

Go on, go on

I wish you well

Go on, go on

I wish you good health

I wish you joy

I wish you love

I wish you enough

What did you mean when you said you’d always be there for me?

And how is what you’re doing now, keeping your word?

Why can’t you leave without burning what’s left of our love down?

Haven’t you hurt me enough this time around?

Go on, go on

I wish you well

Go on, go on

I wish you good health

I wish you joy

I wish you love

I wish you enough

I AM LOVE

"This songs lyrics say it all. I imagine singing I Am Love to a sea of people who are all singing along with me. I imagine people listening and singing along in their cars on their way to difficult conversations, using it to remember who they are, what their primary driving force can always be."

I wrote this song for you to sing for yourself

To whisper into your every cell

I am Love

I am Loved

I am here to live in peace

This longing in my heart

Is the map I came in with

My North Star

I am Love

I am Loved

I didn’t come here to waste my time

I’m here for love

I didn’t come here to wait in line

I came to love

I came to be loved

I am Love

I am Loved

I have always been enough and

Never, never, never too much

I am a diamond in the rough

Loving myself clear

I am here

I am Love

I am Loved

WE BREAK

"I remember the first time I read Glennon Doyle write in her book Carry On Warrior that she was born a little bit broken. And I thought me too Glennon. Me too. Then with her next book Love Warrior she called bullshit on herself, having understood through an epic journey of becoming that we are never broken. The Broken part made me feel seen and heard, understood. The Never Broken part made me feel heroic. Every time we break, we put ourselves back together a little wiser, a little stronger, a little closer to who we really are than we were before the breaking.If we so choose. We break but we are never irreparably damaged. We are never a lost cause.We are never broken."

We break

But we are never broken

Where the fuck are my keys

And why can’t I ever keep track of my phone?

How am I supposed to remember my name

With everything that is going on?

Don’t call me up and flood me

with your well meaning concern

If you didn’t give up then

You’d have something for me to learn

We break

But we are never broken

Take a look at nature

The circle of life

All that is love flourishes

All that is not love dies

Listen to the whispers

They’re constantly there

I need a place to scream

Somewhere

We break

But we are never broken

Where’d I park the car

And why can’t I ever keep track of my life?

How am I supposed to discern what’s true

When there’s always trouble and strife?

Don’t call me up and flood me

With your well meaning concern

I’m never going to give up

So you’ve got nothing for me to learn

We break

But we are never broken

These six songs saved me. Every song has been an unexpected psychopomp in the days and weeks after I wrote them, in moments when I needed the medicine of every word, every frequency. PSYCHOPOMP DEMOS was written through me, for me. For you too.

From love, to love for love,

Caitlin

*Psychopomp - guide of the soul

*Demos - the people